Hissyfit News Diary CD Collection Fish out of Water Lyrics
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The
Ballad of the Lifeboat Harbinger
We
can all sing of brave men, when battles are won
Those
men of Trafalgar, those heroes of Somme,
But
never forget that there are none so
brave
Than
the crews of the lifeboats, that battle the waves
In
the deepest darkest winter, 1871.
Coal
bound for Paris, besieged by the Hun
A
vast fleet of collier ships heading for France
Hoping
no storm would impede their advance
Oh
the waves oh the waves oh the mighty waves o’er
They
sheltered near Bridlington, safe from the gale.
No
wind in their riggings, no breeze in
their sails
And
anchored and safe deep in Bridlington
Bay
They
waited for sunrise, to be their way
Oh
the waves oh the waves oh the mighty waves o’er
But
a howling wind woke them, and a panic ensued
Sleet
hail and ice, a South Easterly blew
The
rockets in readiness, waited on shore
And
the lifeboats plunged into the seas mighty roar.
Oh
the waves oh the waves oh the mighty waves o’er
When
morning came five ships had all run aground
A
miracle meant all her crew safely found
But
the brave lifeboat Whitworth RNLI
Heavy
and awkward could no longer survive.
Oh
the waves oh the waves oh the mighty waves o’er
The
Delta of Whitby in dire straights lay she
And
brave David Purdon a judgment made he
With
the noblest of vision, he made his
decision
And
he joined those brave fellows in the blacking boiling sea.
Oh
the waves oh the waves oh the mighty waves o’er
Her
plucky crew. ready her status most dire
The
swollen sea thrashed the poor boat as she lay
And
its brutal force battered as she traversed the Bay.
Oh
the waves oh the waves oh the mighty waves o’er
O
the rain and the wind made her struggle extreme
And
she fought the hard current, and the freezing dark sea
Then
the waves rose above them and a horror befell
The
lifeboat Harbinger succumbed to the swell.
Oh
the waves oh the waves oh the mighty waves o’er
Six
of the nine lifeboat crew they were lost,
Capsized
they had perished in the foam and the wash
As
the morning light rose and the wreckage displayed
The
tragic events seen in Bridlington Bay
Oh
the waves oh the waves oh the mighty waves o’er
Oh
the waves oh the waves oh the mighty waves o’er
One of the worst
storms the East Coast of England has ever experienced.
There is a memorial in Bridlington to the
brave journeyman
Robert Purdon and to
those who lost their loves in the Great Storm
Have you a little money I can lend?
I travelled here to London on a ferry via Dieppe
Would you like a little company my friend?
My friend says he will help me
But I have to pay my way
And if I don’t, he’ll
show his other side
But the bruising’ nearly
gone now,
and the pills will ease the pain
have you a car or shall we go inside?
And things don’t change its still the same
This soulless trade, this human chain
And when were gone it still remains, what have we gained?
My father is a tribesman, from the sub Saharan plain
He doesn’t know if I’m dead or alive
It hasn’t rained for months now
and he says it won’t again
So he sold his oldest children to survive
We travelled in a cattletruck across the barren earth
Manacled and starving and alone
They tried to sell us quickly
but were told we had no worth
Left to die, a thousand miles from home
And things don’t change its still the same
This soulless trade This human chain
And when were gone it still remains,
what have we gained?
Abandoned on a lonely shore,
the small child’s body lay
Nameless, her identity unknown
Only one of hundreds, washed up every day
Who were promised a safe and happy home
The policeman shrugs his shoulders,
he has seen it all before
And takes the tiny bundle in his hand
Another sad statistic, one of many many more
That no-one really wants to understand
And things don’t change its still the same
This soulless trade This human chain
And when were gone it still remains,
what have we gained?
I hope you had a good time Tatijana did as well
Please tell your mates about me, here’s my card
And do you have a cigarette?
maybe one or two to sell
My friend takes all my money- life is hard
Its getting very cold now,
And I’m feeling rather ill
I think that I will take
a little wine
I need to find my friend now,
For he has a little pill
And afterwards, it always works out fine
And things don’t change its still the same
This soulless trade This human chain
And when were gone it still remains,
what have we gained? What have we gained?
Things don’t change do they –child labour, women sex slaves,
drug mules –just the
names are different.
To
Cape Farewell I bid adieu
I
will return to her no more
Her
mighty swell her sea fret chill
Her
barren Greenland shore
Black
troubled sky relentless sea,
It’s
not in my heart to stay,
No
fond goodbye, inside of me
No
words are left to say
We
plunder this unholy ground
All
hidings places have been found
We’ll
fish her raw. Till there’s no more
Then
we’ll return to England
Amidst
the fierce and brutal rain
Our
riggings battered in the squall
The
calling pierce of seabird cries
Drown
out the watchman’s call.
Night
falling fast the wait begins
The
trap is set ,our nets are cast
All
hands on deck to haul her in
The
prize is here at last!
And
now we’ve made that final pull
Our
nets are landed brimming full
We’ll
turn her round and homeward bound
As
we sail home to England
We
set our course, through wind and hale
The
mighty force of deadly storm
In
driving rain our fortunes pale
No
beacon guides us home
And
when the catch is safe inside
Our
ice packed harvest held secure
We’ll
trim our hatch south east we’ll glide
To
once familiar shores
And
as the sunrise warms the day.
Thank
God we’ll soon be on our way
We’ll
turn her round and homeward bound
As
we sail home to England.
The
Panda Parody (To Jim Boyes Bringing in the Sheaves –with apologies)
Spent
last
Tuesday at the zoo
Won a ticket in the
raffle
Saw such sights as I’ve
never seen
in my life before
Shapes and sizes large
and small
More sex than a Chinese
brothel
Fell in love with a
little bear
Chewing on bamboo
Eats shoots and leaves
Eats shoots and leaves
What a live a panda
lives
Eats shoots and leaves.
He was handsome black
and white
A bum the size of
Guatemala
Couldn’t take my eyes of
him
As he munched away
I talked to him for
hours and hours
It was one-sided
conversation
Hardly takes a breath as
he
Eats shoots and leaves
Eats shoots and leaves
Eats shoots and leaves
What a live a panda
lives
Eats shoots and leaves.
Wish I were a panda too
His ways are simple,
thoughts are pure
He sits around and eats
all day
What a lovely life
Global warming passed
him by
Weap-i-ons of mass
destruction
As long as he gets
leaves all day
He doesn’t give a damn
Eats shoots and leaves
Eats shoots and leaves
What a live a panda
lives
Eats shoots and leaves.
And when he’s full he’ll
have a nap
Licks himself to stop
infection
Then he’s off into the
woods
And I think we all know
why
His love life isn’t up
to much
He treats his food with
more affection
Has a quickie then he’s
off
Eats shoots and leaves.
Eats shoots and leaves
Eats shoots and leaves
What a live a panda
lives
Eats shoots and leaves.
Now
back in the days when a man was a man
And
a woman could do as she pleased
There
lived a young cowpoke, a desperate dan
Whose
strength could bring men to their knees
He
was tall dark and handsome
And smelt mighty fine and his blue eyes they
shone crystal clear
But
the women all laughed when he opened his mouth
for
his voice was decidedly queer
Chorus
I’m
woger, woger, woger the wodeo star
I’m
the wascally wogue that the women admire
Woger
the wodeo star.
A
widiculous way of wolling his rrr’s
Made
him stand out from the crowd
He’d
be woping a steer or widing a bull
When
he’d hear the laughter out loud
‘Wide
the wange woger !’ they’d all shout in glee
‘Westle
that bull wide him high’
An
Woger would scowl and stamp his great feet
‘Shut
up or I’ll spit in your eye!’
Im
woger, woger, woger the wodeo star
I’m
the wascally wogue that the women admire
Woger
the wodeo star.
His
mother Wosana tried telling her son
It’s
the man thats inside that’s the key
But
Woger weluctant to take her advise
Said’
I wish ma that man wasn’t me
So
I’ll prove ‘em wong to the top I will go
and
become a Wodeo Star
Ill
wide em and wope em welentlessly poke em
My
name will be known from afar. ‘
Im
woger, woger, woger the wodeo star
I’m
the wascally wogue that the women admire
Woger
the wodeo star.
She
called herself Alith from Dallith
A
cute perty Texthan was she
A
thinger who thang in the Dead Gulch thaloon
Woger
said ‘Would you sing one for me’
‘Would
you do Wambling wose?’
‘Are
you taking the pith,?’ Alith said in a
furious wail
She
unleashed her shotgun –‘take that’ she cried
And
blasted young Woger to Hail
Chorus
‘You
weckless young cweature, Ill get my
wevenge’
Woger
wesolved as he cwied
With
a flick of his lassoo he sliced off her tongue
Slid
to the floor and then died.
Chorus
‘Dear
Lord’ shouted Alice,’ Oh what have you done
My
lisping at last is no more.
This
stranger has saved me, and now he is gone
Guess
I was too quick off the draw’
Chorus
Poor
woger, woger, woger had wode his last wide
That
wascally wogue that the women admire
Wolled
his last R- then he died.